My first attempt at blogging

Well, here it is. My first blog entry.

I guess I should explain what led me to blogging. I am not good at journaling, handwriting that is. In fact, I find it painstaking. So, I thought maybe I would find it easier to spell out my thoughts by typing them. Each entry will probably be long, so...

Grab a cup of coffee! Here I go:

The past several months have been a whirlwind. God has been stirring my innermost being. In the last couple weeks, I have reached the boiling point-- that point where, like the prophet Elijah, I excliamed!-- "It is enough! Now take away my life!" I don't mean that literally. I mean that I am exassperated from allowing the Law (the Old Testament biblical set of rules) to run my life. Though I have been a follower of Jesus for many many years, and have understood that I am no longer bound to the old set of rules, I guess I didn't realize what that really meant. I always understood it to mean that I am now freed from making blood sacrifices, Jesus Christ paid that price when he died on the cross, so I no longer have to pay the price for my sins. I also knew that it meant that I no longer have to go to the High Priest to confess my sins. I can now go straight to God himself. The veil was torn in the temple and now I can go to the Holy of Holies myself. Freedom from The Law means freedom in Christ!

BUT! There is something that for so many years, I didn't see. Probably God knew I was not ready to really learn this nugget of Truth until now: "The law only applies to those still living!" (Romans 7:1) What? I'm alive, kicking, breathing. Pinch me! Maybe I'm dreaming. Then, I read on... "I am crucified with Christ. It's NOT ME that is living today. It's CHRIST living IN me." (Romans 7:4 & Galatians 2:19b & 20) This is HUGE! All the good stuff that I feel obligated to do for Christ, all the things that I am tempted to do that I know are sin, all the turmoil I have put myself through the last several months trying to "do" all the right things was NOT ME. It was the FLESH!-- the old self that died on the cross with Jesus. When I try to keep the Law, I discover that I can never earn God's approval. I fail miserably. I make a total fool of myself. If I try to attain the law, then I am guilty of saying that there was no need for Christ to die! WHOA!

Rather, I am FREE from the Law. I am now Living in the Spirit. (See, I'm alive!...whew!) But, what this means is that the the Holy Spirit lives in me. I am now controlled by Him. I am supposed to do only what He tells me to do. This is wonderful, freeing, relieving, and totally attainable! Now there is no condemnation, becuase I am united with Christ. The power of the life-giving Spirit has freed me through Jesus Christ from the power of sin that leads to death. Since the Law could not save me, God created a new plan to save me. He sent Jesus to destroy the control since had over me. He did this so that the requirements of the law would be FULLY ACCOMPLISHED for me, because I now follow the Spirit. I have no obligation whatsoever to do what my sinful nature urges me to do, even if it appears to be good. If I keep following my flesh, I will die! But if I through the power of the Holy Spirit turn from the flesh and it's evil deed, I will LIVE. (Romans 8:1-4 & 12-13). I can't do it in my own strength. I do it only through the strength of the God.

So as I look over the last months of my life, I begin to see that all the good things that I was doing and all the sinful things too, were done only because I was still allowing the Flesh to control me... and it led to death... physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual breakdown. Today, February 21, 2005, I am doing an about-face, resisting the Devil and running from the Flesh, while walking in the Spirit. I'm "Keeping my eyes on Jesus!"-- the author and perfector of my faith. (Hebrews 12:2)