Drove to see my sisters in Indiana this weekend. Had some window treatments to design and sew for one of them. The weekend has been really nice, & relaxing, even though the pressure is on to get 12 window treatments sewn before Monday morning! It's been fun to kinda get away from the responsibilities at home... left the kids with my husband for some daddy time. They all seem to be having a good time. The sun even peered through the bleak late winter days and they were able to enjoy some play time at their school's playground. They were playing baseball when I called to check in.
I was really excited to get on the road last night. I rented a car and it has a CD player that works!!! YAY! I took several CD's with me to listen to on the trip. But, I should've taken only two CD's. One of my favorites is a praise and worship CD by Vineyard Music. It's all sung in German. One of my favorite songs is "Komm, jetzt ist die Zeit" (Come, now is the time... to worship) It's so awesome! It's the first song on the CD and the first song I turned on for the trip. I spent the rest of the 3 hour trip singing at the top of my lungs praises to Jesus. It felt so good to sing again! Jesus and I had a blast! I kept saying, I will turn the music off after the next song... cause I also wanted to spend time praying while I drove. But, I just couldn't stop. It was such a powerful time giving thanks and praise to God for bringing me out of the pit of despair.
One of the songs that God has been replaying in my brain all day today is a really fun and gorgeous song by Sandi Patti titled, "The Heavens are Telling." It's based on Psalm 19:1 which says, "The heavens are telling the glory of God." So I decided to spend a few moments reading this Psalm this evening. This Psalm has three parts: 1.) Proclaiming God's glory and showing how the earth testifies to his greatness, 2.) shows how right, true and good the decrees of the Lord are, 3.) the psalmist concludes with recognizing his sinfulness and his prayer to the Lord.
God wanted me to see this Psalm today. As he has been working in my heart and in my mind this past week he has taken me on quite a journey... soul searching! Ugh! The verses that really spoke loudly to me were vs. 12 -14: "How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from these hidden faults. Keep me from deliberate sins! Don't let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of sin. May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer."
Today, many times, I was faced with opportunity to resist the flesh (my sinful nature), and yet did not. Other times, I wouldn't even realize that the flesh had taken over. These verses were especially powerful to me today, because my heart's desire it to continually walk in the Spirit and to allow the power of God to rule my life. Yet, sometimes the flesh wins the battle. BUT! In the end, the Holy Spirit wins the war! So, cleanse my heart oh Lord, find all the wicked ways in me, so that I can walk with you towards eternal life! "May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, {as I continue to Keep My Eyes On You}, my rock and my redeemer."
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Read Until
This past week, I have been reminded of a practice that I have known for some time, but never really grasped the full power of it until now. Evelyn Christenson, in her book, "Lord Change ME!" explains a simple concept called "Read Until." As I am reading through the scriptures daily, basically I "read until" I hear God speak. Then when I hear that still small whisper in my ear, I stop and ask God to show me what it is he wants me to understand. Then I listen in silence until I fully hear him. I pray and ask God to do that thing through me. I also like to write it down or underline it in my Bible as a reminder. This is yet another reason why I started this blog. I wanted to be able to write out what it is God is speaking to me about so that I can come back to it later, if necessary, and recall it. "I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go. I will guide you with my eye." Psalm 32:8
Today one thought the Lord brought to my mind over and over again, "Search me, oh God, and know my heart; test me, and know my thoughts; Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Psalm 139:23-24. In Romans 1 Paul talks about how the unbelievers were full of sin and totally under its power. (ie: wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, fighting, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip). The believers were astonished by this and remarked about what terrible people he had been talking about(vs. 2:1). He replies: "You are just as bad, and you have no excuse!" (2:1) The unbelievers excuse was that they were not followers of Jesus, and so they were fully given over to the flesh. They were walking just as they ought to for people who were walking in darkness. BUT, the believers were just as bad... and they had no excuse! They were no longer bound by the law. But they were still allowing the flesh to control their lives. And that is not acting at all the way they ought to.
I have been thinking about this passage all day as I desire to walk in the Spirit, not in the flesh. What does that mean for me-- literally? Then, Jesus brought Psalm 139: 23-24 to my mind: Search me, OH GOD!, and know my heart. Test me, and point out all my sins, so that I can walk with you along the path towards Heaven. So I have been praying that God would search my heart and show me where I need to be released from the grip the flesh has on me.
One of the things He is showing me is to MAKE time to REST. By resting, that doesn't always mean sleeping... but just slowing down and relaxing a little in the midst of the humdrum of the day. This may seem funny, that not resting is an area of sin??? Well, yep. It is. I love to stay busy. I love to have my plate piled and overflowing with projects and things to do, people to see, places to go. But this usually means that I am giving in to the flesh to make myself look good to others and to win God's approval. AND it also means that I have no time left for quality time with my Father. So, yeah... this not resting is sin! Today, I actually took 3 rests spending time with God in prayer, scripture reading, etc... Yes, one of those rests were spent catching a quick cat nap. It was really refreshing to walk in the Spirit today as I went about my life and chores at home. Finding and then Choosing Rest is such a drink of cool water as I walk along this path towards eternal life. All the trials, troubles, and even the mundane things I have to do, become so easy... so light, as I Keep My Eyes on Jesus all day everyday.
Today one thought the Lord brought to my mind over and over again, "Search me, oh God, and know my heart; test me, and know my thoughts; Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Psalm 139:23-24. In Romans 1 Paul talks about how the unbelievers were full of sin and totally under its power. (ie: wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, fighting, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip). The believers were astonished by this and remarked about what terrible people he had been talking about(vs. 2:1). He replies: "You are just as bad, and you have no excuse!" (2:1) The unbelievers excuse was that they were not followers of Jesus, and so they were fully given over to the flesh. They were walking just as they ought to for people who were walking in darkness. BUT, the believers were just as bad... and they had no excuse! They were no longer bound by the law. But they were still allowing the flesh to control their lives. And that is not acting at all the way they ought to.
I have been thinking about this passage all day as I desire to walk in the Spirit, not in the flesh. What does that mean for me-- literally? Then, Jesus brought Psalm 139: 23-24 to my mind: Search me, OH GOD!, and know my heart. Test me, and point out all my sins, so that I can walk with you along the path towards Heaven. So I have been praying that God would search my heart and show me where I need to be released from the grip the flesh has on me.
One of the things He is showing me is to MAKE time to REST. By resting, that doesn't always mean sleeping... but just slowing down and relaxing a little in the midst of the humdrum of the day. This may seem funny, that not resting is an area of sin??? Well, yep. It is. I love to stay busy. I love to have my plate piled and overflowing with projects and things to do, people to see, places to go. But this usually means that I am giving in to the flesh to make myself look good to others and to win God's approval. AND it also means that I have no time left for quality time with my Father. So, yeah... this not resting is sin! Today, I actually took 3 rests spending time with God in prayer, scripture reading, etc... Yes, one of those rests were spent catching a quick cat nap. It was really refreshing to walk in the Spirit today as I went about my life and chores at home. Finding and then Choosing Rest is such a drink of cool water as I walk along this path towards eternal life. All the trials, troubles, and even the mundane things I have to do, become so easy... so light, as I Keep My Eyes on Jesus all day everyday.
"The Author"
Got up this morning and checked my e-mails right away. Normally, I feel like I should wait and do that at another time in the day. Why rush right away to the computer? Well, I didn't sense that this morning. The only e-mail I had received was from the Presidential Prayer Team. I'll be honest, most days I scan it and delete it without reading hardly a word. But this morning, my eyes were drawn straight to the following quote. I saw nothing else on the page, just this:
"As we pray continually, even during times when God seems distant and prayer feels fruitless, we immerse ourselves in the benevolence, grace, forgiveness and love of God. Our attitudes toward life are modified accordingly. This doesn't mean that we become passive or weak. Living in harmony with the omnipotent God makes us stronger, just as seeing the world through the eyes of the omniscient God makes us wiser."
--Jimmy Carter
That's when it stuck me... God was guiding my mind and my eyes this morning, in ways that would grab my attention right away, to see how he writes words on people's heart and then speaks through those people to remind us of what he is doing in each of our lives. The more I continue on this journery towards living in the Spirit, the more I see God's hand. His timing is perfect. His instructions are always relevant. After all, "He is the AUTHOR of our faith."
"Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful." Romans 12:12 (NIV)
"As we pray continually, even during times when God seems distant and prayer feels fruitless, we immerse ourselves in the benevolence, grace, forgiveness and love of God. Our attitudes toward life are modified accordingly. This doesn't mean that we become passive or weak. Living in harmony with the omnipotent God makes us stronger, just as seeing the world through the eyes of the omniscient God makes us wiser."
--Jimmy Carter
That's when it stuck me... God was guiding my mind and my eyes this morning, in ways that would grab my attention right away, to see how he writes words on people's heart and then speaks through those people to remind us of what he is doing in each of our lives. The more I continue on this journery towards living in the Spirit, the more I see God's hand. His timing is perfect. His instructions are always relevant. After all, "He is the AUTHOR of our faith."
"Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful." Romans 12:12 (NIV)
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
EXTRA! EXTRA! This just in!
I just got a phone call from one of the little girls in our house church. She called to tell us that she decided she needed to tell us a secret that she had been keeping. She confessed that she had been secretly worshiping and praying to Jesus, and wanted us to know about it. No one was going to make that choice for her. She wanted to decide on her own. She concluded by saying, "I needed a god to worship, so I decided to choose the best one I could find!" Out of the mouth of babes! There is so much Truth in these statements. So many are seeking, so many are secretly looking when the Lord opens their eyes to the BEST choice out there-- Jesus! It can't be forced. No one can convice someone that He is the answer. Only the Holy Spirit has the power! Praise the Lord...another child is Keeping Her Eyes On Jesus!
"Lord, Change Me!"
I am currently reading a book by Evelyn Christenson titled, "Lord, Change Me!" Someone said, that if you don't want to change, then don't read this book! The Lord has used Evelyn and her public speaking ministry to reach thousands of women across the globe for Christ. I am finding this book to be perfect timing in my life and struggles as I break free from the chains of bondage that the flesh has had a hold of for so long. Transformation is never easy and it is always painful. But oh, so worth it.
Today in my LTG (Life Transformation Group... appropriate, huh?) we talked about how we were crucified with Christ, buried with Him, and rose again with him. What? Is this wacked theology? At first, I thought, huh??? But, then I remembered Romans 7 says we are crucified with Christ. That means we died to our flesh when Christ died on the cross. Then, when he rose from the grave, we came to life again too... we are a new creation. This I understood. No problems with that. BUT, the burial? How does that work out?
This is the coolest part... for a seed to grow into a plant and flourish... what must it do? It first has to be BURIED. It then rots away to nothing, then suddenly a plant begins to grow out of that mass of rot and decay and then eventually brings forth fruit. This will never happen if the seed does not get buried. It MUST go into the ground. The same thing stands for me as a follower of Jesus. I died with Christ. I was buried with Him... the flesh rots away and deteriorates. And then I rose with Christ. Behold! I am a new creation! In order for me to grow and bring forth fruit, the flesh has to be done away with, it HAS to be buried! Ah ha! I got it. It all made perfect sense, and wasn't as theologically bizarre as I at first thought.
As the day has gone on, I started thinking some more along this line. It reminds me of the "Parable of the Growing Seed" in Mark 4:26: "A farmer planted/buried seeds in his field. Then he went on with his other activities. As the days went by, the seeds sprouted and grew without the farmer's help, because the earth produces the crop on its own." The farmer in this story did nothing to make that seed grow... other than bury it. Once it was in the ground, he didn't water it or pay it any attention. Then, after a season it sprouted and grew. We hear this story related frequently to sharing our faith with others. You know, we plant the seed, and then pray to the Lord to bring forth fruit. We can't force someone to follow Jesus. It's only the Holy Spirit that opens their eyes when they are ready. While this is true, I think the meaning is even bigger than that. It doesn't just mean evangelism and conversions. I think it also something even more personal. I must first die to my flesh, bury those desires in the ground, and then wait for the Lord to grow me. It's not something I can force. I can't do it in my own strength. Since I am alive in Christ, HE does the growing and the crop producing!
Whew! That surely takes a load off of my shoulders. I will hear and understand the Truth and grow in it, ONLY when Christ reveals those things to me... as I continue on this quest of "Keeping My Eyes On Jesus."
Today in my LTG (Life Transformation Group... appropriate, huh?) we talked about how we were crucified with Christ, buried with Him, and rose again with him. What? Is this wacked theology? At first, I thought, huh??? But, then I remembered Romans 7 says we are crucified with Christ. That means we died to our flesh when Christ died on the cross. Then, when he rose from the grave, we came to life again too... we are a new creation. This I understood. No problems with that. BUT, the burial? How does that work out?
This is the coolest part... for a seed to grow into a plant and flourish... what must it do? It first has to be BURIED. It then rots away to nothing, then suddenly a plant begins to grow out of that mass of rot and decay and then eventually brings forth fruit. This will never happen if the seed does not get buried. It MUST go into the ground. The same thing stands for me as a follower of Jesus. I died with Christ. I was buried with Him... the flesh rots away and deteriorates. And then I rose with Christ. Behold! I am a new creation! In order for me to grow and bring forth fruit, the flesh has to be done away with, it HAS to be buried! Ah ha! I got it. It all made perfect sense, and wasn't as theologically bizarre as I at first thought.
As the day has gone on, I started thinking some more along this line. It reminds me of the "Parable of the Growing Seed" in Mark 4:26: "A farmer planted/buried seeds in his field. Then he went on with his other activities. As the days went by, the seeds sprouted and grew without the farmer's help, because the earth produces the crop on its own." The farmer in this story did nothing to make that seed grow... other than bury it. Once it was in the ground, he didn't water it or pay it any attention. Then, after a season it sprouted and grew. We hear this story related frequently to sharing our faith with others. You know, we plant the seed, and then pray to the Lord to bring forth fruit. We can't force someone to follow Jesus. It's only the Holy Spirit that opens their eyes when they are ready. While this is true, I think the meaning is even bigger than that. It doesn't just mean evangelism and conversions. I think it also something even more personal. I must first die to my flesh, bury those desires in the ground, and then wait for the Lord to grow me. It's not something I can force. I can't do it in my own strength. Since I am alive in Christ, HE does the growing and the crop producing!
Whew! That surely takes a load off of my shoulders. I will hear and understand the Truth and grow in it, ONLY when Christ reveals those things to me... as I continue on this quest of "Keeping My Eyes On Jesus."
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Monday, February 21, 2005
My first attempt at blogging
Well, here it is. My first blog entry.
I guess I should explain what led me to blogging. I am not good at journaling, handwriting that is. In fact, I find it painstaking. So, I thought maybe I would find it easier to spell out my thoughts by typing them. Each entry will probably be long, so...
Grab a cup of coffee! Here I go:
The past several months have been a whirlwind. God has been stirring my innermost being. In the last couple weeks, I have reached the boiling point-- that point where, like the prophet Elijah, I excliamed!-- "It is enough! Now take away my life!" I don't mean that literally. I mean that I am exassperated from allowing the Law (the Old Testament biblical set of rules) to run my life. Though I have been a follower of Jesus for many many years, and have understood that I am no longer bound to the old set of rules, I guess I didn't realize what that really meant. I always understood it to mean that I am now freed from making blood sacrifices, Jesus Christ paid that price when he died on the cross, so I no longer have to pay the price for my sins. I also knew that it meant that I no longer have to go to the High Priest to confess my sins. I can now go straight to God himself. The veil was torn in the temple and now I can go to the Holy of Holies myself. Freedom from The Law means freedom in Christ!
BUT! There is something that for so many years, I didn't see. Probably God knew I was not ready to really learn this nugget of Truth until now: "The law only applies to those still living!" (Romans 7:1) What? I'm alive, kicking, breathing. Pinch me! Maybe I'm dreaming. Then, I read on... "I am crucified with Christ. It's NOT ME that is living today. It's CHRIST living IN me." (Romans 7:4 & Galatians 2:19b & 20) This is HUGE! All the good stuff that I feel obligated to do for Christ, all the things that I am tempted to do that I know are sin, all the turmoil I have put myself through the last several months trying to "do" all the right things was NOT ME. It was the FLESH!-- the old self that died on the cross with Jesus. When I try to keep the Law, I discover that I can never earn God's approval. I fail miserably. I make a total fool of myself. If I try to attain the law, then I am guilty of saying that there was no need for Christ to die! WHOA!
Rather, I am FREE from the Law. I am now Living in the Spirit. (See, I'm alive!...whew!) But, what this means is that the the Holy Spirit lives in me. I am now controlled by Him. I am supposed to do only what He tells me to do. This is wonderful, freeing, relieving, and totally attainable! Now there is no condemnation, becuase I am united with Christ. The power of the life-giving Spirit has freed me through Jesus Christ from the power of sin that leads to death. Since the Law could not save me, God created a new plan to save me. He sent Jesus to destroy the control since had over me. He did this so that the requirements of the law would be FULLY ACCOMPLISHED for me, because I now follow the Spirit. I have no obligation whatsoever to do what my sinful nature urges me to do, even if it appears to be good. If I keep following my flesh, I will die! But if I through the power of the Holy Spirit turn from the flesh and it's evil deed, I will LIVE. (Romans 8:1-4 & 12-13). I can't do it in my own strength. I do it only through the strength of the God.
So as I look over the last months of my life, I begin to see that all the good things that I was doing and all the sinful things too, were done only because I was still allowing the Flesh to control me... and it led to death... physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual breakdown. Today, February 21, 2005, I am doing an about-face, resisting the Devil and running from the Flesh, while walking in the Spirit. I'm "Keeping my eyes on Jesus!"-- the author and perfector of my faith. (Hebrews 12:2)
I guess I should explain what led me to blogging. I am not good at journaling, handwriting that is. In fact, I find it painstaking. So, I thought maybe I would find it easier to spell out my thoughts by typing them. Each entry will probably be long, so...
Grab a cup of coffee! Here I go:
The past several months have been a whirlwind. God has been stirring my innermost being. In the last couple weeks, I have reached the boiling point-- that point where, like the prophet Elijah, I excliamed!-- "It is enough! Now take away my life!" I don't mean that literally. I mean that I am exassperated from allowing the Law (the Old Testament biblical set of rules) to run my life. Though I have been a follower of Jesus for many many years, and have understood that I am no longer bound to the old set of rules, I guess I didn't realize what that really meant. I always understood it to mean that I am now freed from making blood sacrifices, Jesus Christ paid that price when he died on the cross, so I no longer have to pay the price for my sins. I also knew that it meant that I no longer have to go to the High Priest to confess my sins. I can now go straight to God himself. The veil was torn in the temple and now I can go to the Holy of Holies myself. Freedom from The Law means freedom in Christ!
BUT! There is something that for so many years, I didn't see. Probably God knew I was not ready to really learn this nugget of Truth until now: "The law only applies to those still living!" (Romans 7:1) What? I'm alive, kicking, breathing. Pinch me! Maybe I'm dreaming. Then, I read on... "I am crucified with Christ. It's NOT ME that is living today. It's CHRIST living IN me." (Romans 7:4 & Galatians 2:19b & 20) This is HUGE! All the good stuff that I feel obligated to do for Christ, all the things that I am tempted to do that I know are sin, all the turmoil I have put myself through the last several months trying to "do" all the right things was NOT ME. It was the FLESH!-- the old self that died on the cross with Jesus. When I try to keep the Law, I discover that I can never earn God's approval. I fail miserably. I make a total fool of myself. If I try to attain the law, then I am guilty of saying that there was no need for Christ to die! WHOA!
Rather, I am FREE from the Law. I am now Living in the Spirit. (See, I'm alive!...whew!) But, what this means is that the the Holy Spirit lives in me. I am now controlled by Him. I am supposed to do only what He tells me to do. This is wonderful, freeing, relieving, and totally attainable! Now there is no condemnation, becuase I am united with Christ. The power of the life-giving Spirit has freed me through Jesus Christ from the power of sin that leads to death. Since the Law could not save me, God created a new plan to save me. He sent Jesus to destroy the control since had over me. He did this so that the requirements of the law would be FULLY ACCOMPLISHED for me, because I now follow the Spirit. I have no obligation whatsoever to do what my sinful nature urges me to do, even if it appears to be good. If I keep following my flesh, I will die! But if I through the power of the Holy Spirit turn from the flesh and it's evil deed, I will LIVE. (Romans 8:1-4 & 12-13). I can't do it in my own strength. I do it only through the strength of the God.
So as I look over the last months of my life, I begin to see that all the good things that I was doing and all the sinful things too, were done only because I was still allowing the Flesh to control me... and it led to death... physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual breakdown. Today, February 21, 2005, I am doing an about-face, resisting the Devil and running from the Flesh, while walking in the Spirit. I'm "Keeping my eyes on Jesus!"-- the author and perfector of my faith. (Hebrews 12:2)
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